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Tempting Trouble   2/21/01


Temptation Island opened its next to last episode with what was perhaps the show's most compelling moment thus far. Shannon presented Tom with her dream date bouquet and the two enjoyed a lingering and joyful embrace.  This is the couple we're rooting for, the one who seems to be making a true connection.  Shannon, an attractive attorney from Malibu, California, has been dating Andy-the-poster-boy-for-loser-boyfriends, for the past five years.

 

Valerie chose next, presenting the unfortunate Dano with her bouquet.  We all winced as we imagined what was in store for him.  Valerie has spent each and every date moping over her model boyfriend, Kaya.  (He's her boyfriend and he's a model, he's not a model boyfriend - just ask Megan).  Valerie immediately validated our concern for Dano, telling the camera "I chose Dano because he's really upbeat, and I know I'll need someone to take my mind off what could happen at the end."  Poor Dano.  Hope they serve margaritas on this dream date.

 

Mandy, true to form, jumped back and forth in front of her potential selections, raising and dashing their hopes before bestowing her bouquet upon Jon.  A few moments later she was riding him piggyback as the remaining six trooped back to the bungalows to pack.  Oh, Billy.

 

Next we were taken on a brief detour to Camp Ytassie-Taheed, where we eavesdropped on the couple as they tried to work through the problems in their five year relationship.  Ytassie and Taheed are the parents of a toddler and presumably  have some monumental issues to discuss.  But apparently, what was most important to them was whether or not they had involved their respective tongues when they kissed their respective island dates.

 

Back to the men's resort, where Megan is leading the Trail of Tears to the boat of rejection, in which she and the other not-so-tempting temptresses will sail away from Temptation Island, back to wherever it is temptresses reside.  We're treated to a recap of Megan crying over Kaya, who chose another for his dream date.  Crying over Kaya - a guy who is poised to cheat on his girlfriend of a year and a half on national television.  Maybe after the show, when Kaya inevitably dumps Valerie, the two jilted girls can get together.  Hey - this could be a new series for FOX - Crying over Kaya.

 

Return to Taheed and Ytassie, a touching scene in which, in front of host Mark L. Walberg and the world, Taheed declares that he is willing to go to counseling with his girlfriend of five years and mother of his child.  He tells her he loves her, hopes she loves him too and that he wants to spend the rest of his life with her.  A surprised Ytassie agrees that the counseling is a good idea (no kidding) and says she "wouldn't mind" spending the rest of her life with Taheed.  She "wouldn't mind!"  The stuff of Shakespeare!  Well, let's hope they both mean it for the sake of their little one.

 

On the Eve of the Dream Dates, Andy says he senses "a much higher level of intensity."  Not much gets past Andy.  Three different settings for the dates are available.  Kaya and Allison get to choose first, and Kaya chooses the "Adventure" option.  Andy is visibly perturbed, and we cut to a camera interview in which Andy tells us that he had told Kaya that the Adventure date was his first choice.  He was very upset that Kaya had taken this option, knowing that Andy wanted it.  Did Andy learn nothing from the entire Megan incident?  Andy is so annoying it's just hard to believe he could be so dumb as well.

 

Billy and Vanessa choose next, and gentleman Billy actually lets Vanessa choose.  No wonder he's the favorite of the single girls.  Vanessa chooses Jaguar Paw, the "rustic" option, leaving the very steamed Andy facing a night at a spa.  Hope they'll make that body mud nice and hot for him - burning hot.

 

Then it's ladies' choice, a much more congenial affair.  Mandy and Jon go first and choose the rustic option, which prompts a "darn" from Shannon.  But she and Tom are happy with their second choice, which includes a private butler and chef.  Shannon and Tom are so happy to have the time together, they really don't care where they are going.  Valerie and Dano are off to the Francis Ford Coppola compound.  Hope they have a large supply of Kleenex there.

 

As the girls are packing, Mandy decides she doesn't need to bring along a picture of herself and Billy.  Billy is already out of mind, so he might as well be out of sight, too.  

 

Val Gal declares that she is feeling "blah."  (Really, Val?  You hide it so well!).  She continues "All I can think about is Kaya and what's going to happen when I see him tomorrow."  Val then downs 35 (really, she counts them for us) vitamins, including some extra ones to buoy her up.  Thank goodness!  We can't even imagine a vitaminless Val.  

 

We are then treated to interspersed footage of the six couples on their dream dates.  Mandy and Jon cavorting.  Kaya rappelling down a cliff, remarking that Allison is adventurous, and that he needs that - a "total package."  Valerie sees the rejected single girls at the airport and quickly narrows down the field and figures out with whom Kaya is spending his dream date.  This "visual" sends Valerie into another spasm of sobbing - and if this was a set-up on the part of the producers, they need to be burned at the stake.  Meanwhile, Kaya is over at the cliffs spouting some drivel about how this experience has helped him discover his "market value" to women.  Yeah Kaya, you just keep on saying things like that, and see what happens to your "market value."  

 

Shannon and Tom are having a wonderful time, swimming in their pool, enjoying their view and each other.  Shannon remarks that Tom was cast perfectly for her.  She says they are "totally connected .... the ease of being with Tom .... I can't describe how perfect it is."   A beaming Tom says that Shannon is "someone I could really fall for."  .... Andy who?

 

Vanessa and Billy are swimming in a dark cave, Vanessa having a great time, Billy also having a great time but feeling very conflicted about having a great time.  Will somebody show this guy some more video footage of Mandy, already?!   

 

Valerie is trooping dejectedly around with the long-suffering Dano in some beautiful island locale, of which she is obviously completely oblivious.  The voice over has Val confessing that she was "trying to wear Dano out so I can go to my room early and just shut the door .... I can't stop thinking about tomorrow."  By all means, do not show this girl any footage of Kaya right now.  There are some really high cliffs around.

 

Neither Andy nor Elizabeth are having much fun at the spa.  Andy is obviously still stewing about Kaya rappelling down the cliffs on the Adventure date while he lies covered in multi-colored mud, looking like the fool he is.  After we see them close the doors to their separate rooms, we are shown a camera interview with Elizabeth, in which she says that Andy is "fun" and "unique," but that she is "more used to being treated like a lady." Andy, for his part, says that he really notices the five year age difference with Elizabeth.  Presumably he means that she is twenty-two and he acts like a seventeen year old.

 

Over dinner, Valerie shares with the patient Dano her fears about what Kaya is up to and what the next day will bring in terms of Kaya's decision about the future or their relationship.  This scintillating conversation is interspersed with more bouts of sobbing.  Meanwhile, Dano is thinking longingly of his fellow temptors who were fortunate enough to be rejected and escaped the day before. Valerie gets her wish and goes to bed early, more sobbing ensues, no doubt.  Poor Dano, left by himself in the common room of their suite, grins and mocks for the camera - pretending to shoot himself in the mouth.  We fully understand.  

 

Mandy is having a much better time, cuddling in a hammock with Jon, cooing in a voice over that the experience is "so romantic, tender and beautiful .... I'm sinking into a comfort level I never thought I could achieve away from Billy."  Poor Billy,meanwhile, still so very conflicted, is commenting on how awkward he feels, alone in his bungalow with Vanessa.  Back to Mandy, wishing she and Jon had another week together in paradise.

 

Next week, the dream dates are over and it's time for cheaters and cheatees, faithful and not so faithful to face each other, and for all the couples to decide the fate of their relationships.  See you back at the bonfire.

 

 

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