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Virgin Mary Appears on CBS Website, Reveals Survivor 2 Winner 3/12/01 Caution - may contain spoilers!
Called an internet miracle by some, The Virgin Mary appeared Sunday night on the CBS Survivor Website and emphatically declared that the winner of the contest would be Elisabeth. The apparition was visible on computers at a few locations including a library in North Dakota and a prison in West Virginia. Other unverified sighting reports include on a laptop computer at a trailer park in Rockwell County, Georgia and at the computer lab at UCLA. Witnesses say that The Virgin's message was clearly stated in English and made reference to Her investigation into the HTML code on the Jeff Varner page on the CBS Survivor 2 website. Although previously reported on other websites, verification by The Virgin Mary is the best evidence to date that Elisabeth will ultimately be declared the winner. Asked for his opinion on the situation, the Pope has publicly decided to make no comment. Inside sources however say that the Pope does firmly believe the Virgin did in fact make an internet appearance and that he concurs with Her view of the eventual outcome. Elisabeth, with her angelic look and non confrontational style has been the favorite among fans at the Vatican. It was reported Friday that the Pope was disgusted when "that backstabbing Jerri" was not voted off. Officials at CBS reiterated their policy of not commenting on Survivor speculation but one unnamed network official flatly denied that The Virgin was in any way, shape or form on our payroll. "We just don't do that sort of thing" he said. Fueling the speculation that Mark Burnett may have been involved are reports that he was seen praying by Australian snoop Tym the Yowie Man at the Survivor site last year. "He was there in his tent on his knees with his eyes closed. I just knew that he was setting something like this up." Already there have been attempts to sell screen captures of the event on eBay. Two auctions were suspended when it was determined that the sellers were actually auctioning pictures of Britney Spears taped onto a computer screen. The Virgin Britney had been bid up to over $400 before it was pulled as a hoax. eBay is encouraging members to use "good common sense" when bidding on items such as this. Whether this will have any impact on rating is left to be seen. Some are wondering if the NBC hit show "Friends" will benefit from the fact that the winner has been revealed by such a credible source. With it's mature and often immoral themes NBC execs have long given up hope for divine intervention in their ratings war with Survivor. "We have not seen a virgin on this show since midway through season two" says cast member Jennifer Aniston. We might as well go on hiatus until this whole thing blows over. If The Virgin Mary is out there promoting Survivor, we don't have a prayer."
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